Dear Budget: Reason #2 Why I Hate You | It's Me, Not You
Like a true relationship we have explored 8 ways that your budget has done you wrong. We have dissected and blamed; yelled and accused. The only thing we haven’t done is turn that skeptical glare inward.
Like any relationship, there are two sides. So let’s think about this.
How much time do you spend planning your vacation? Meal prep? What you are going to wear tomorrow? I have friends that take 20 minutes to decide what nail color she is going to choose.
How much time do you spend with your budget? Do you think about it when you go out? Do you go shopping alone, or bring it along?
How much thought goes into your budget?
Maybe it is me.
Maybe I am the one who treated you badly, ignored you, shoved you in a drawer. Went out without you. Visited friends, went shopping, planned a business, all without including you. Never giving you a second thought and if you happened to pop into my head for the briefest of moments, it was easy to dismiss you.
I told myself I could do this alone. That I didn’t need you. Yes, I strung you along; every now and then paying you some attention, giving you hope. I would start things up only to withdraw and go distant when we would hit a bump in the road.
My relationship with you was always reactive. I ignored you until I no longer could and then I would just do damage control. Stay at home instead of going out and spending money. Remember the month we tried to buy groceries on $75? When I finally paid attention to you, it was more like punishment and I set us up to fail.
I don’t remember the last time I sat down and really looked at you.
That is going to change. I want to make this work. I am tired of the stress and guilt. I am tired of avoiding this and I want to feel like I have my shit together.
So I am going to get help. Group Therapy.
Over the next 6 weeks I am going to focus on what I want, so I know how to tell you what I need from you.
The fun thing is, I won’t be doing it alone. Apparently, I am not the only one who doesn’t know how to make this work. I have a Tribe and we are going to do this together. I have a money coach.