Dear Budget: Reason #4 I Hate You. You Are the Monster Under My Bed.
Let’s talk about the monster under the bed. No, not your budget, not yet. Let’s talk about the mainstream belief of the the monster under the bed; the ones kids are so afraid of. This fear comes from the stories that kids are told; some version of the boogeyman. This childhood fear is reinforced from stories, movies, unknown noises and the details are filled in with our vivid imaginations.
As adults we know that those fears we had as a child were real, but the reason was not. We were scared and we were entitled to those feelings, but the cause..that wasn’t real. Looking back we can logically see why we felt X about Y. We grew out of those fears through knowledge and maturity. But in the moment, that is so hard to see.
The same is true of your budget.
Right now it may be that monster under the bed. You know it is there, you know you have to face it, but you just don’t want to look. It keeps you awake at night, palms sweaty, heart racing and this deep fear in the pit of your stomach.
This fear is being reinforced from the stories you hear from your friends. They “can’t” go out because “they are on a budget”, they “can’t take that vacation because “they are on a budget”, the stories are rampant and never-ending and scare the shit out of you.
Who wants that?
What kind of monster makes you say No to vacation?
The feelings are real, but the cause…that’s something you can handle.
One of 2 things are happening here: 1. They are choosing to be more mindful about their money and are using the wrong terminology like “can’t” or 2. There budget is not aligned with their values and so they have no room in it for the fun stuff. Both suck.
In option 1 you are trying to do the right thing but your mindset is so messed up about it that it feels like punishment. Option 2 puts you in a position where all your budget does it pay bills and doesn’t allow for vacations, massages, a new kitchen, etc.
So how do you slay your monster?
Here are the steps:
1. You have to face your monster. You have to look at your numbers and really know where you are.
2. You have to get crystal clear on what is important to you and what your values are.
3. You have to understand WHY you are doing this
4. You must implement a personalized plan
5. You have to shift your mindset and re-wire how you think and act about money.
Need help getting started, here are 2 books that can help: Be A Money Boss Budget Workbook and How to Build a Luxurious Lifestyle Without Going Into Debt.